DMV Hell

It’s official, I’m a Californian. Well, I will be officially in 7-10 days. I took the California driver’s license and after two tries, yes I failed at my first attempt, I passed! I was totally fretting about the test since I have test anxiety, and for good reason. I failed with 7 wrong on the first try and I even studied! You need 6 or less wrong to pass. Thank goodness I passed the second try (they let you take the test three times on the same day) because there was no way I could ever bring myself to go back to the San Francisco DMV. They were horribly understaffed and I waited in too many lines to count.

I expected more from San Francisco but there is only one DMV office in San Francisco. The nearest DMV is at least 20 minutes away if I were to drive, but since I’m all about public transportation now with no car, it would take me up to an hour to go anywhere else. Boo-hoo for me. I guess I’m spoiled from Seattle and Hawaii where it was easy for me to go to any DMV office.

I made an appointment because I thought it would make a difference and make things run smoother. Wrong. I got to the DMV at 10:15 a.m. for my 10:30 a.m. appointment and then waited in line to get my paperwork for 25 minutes. Apparently, for every appointment person, they take at least 5 non-appointment people. The appointment line was very short while the non-appointment snaked around the small DMV “lobby”.

The waiting didn’t stop there. I got my paperwork and then had to stand in line again to get my number to get my paperwork processed. That was another 10 minutes to fill out my paperwork and then get my number, it’s now around 10:50 a.m. I waited another 15 minutes to get my number where the nice DMV man processed my paperwork and gave me my eye test. Being in San Francisco the eye test was high tech. The eye chart hung on the wall and for the test the nice DMV man got half a piece of paper and covered my left eye and then right eye. He used a piece a paper he folded up for my eye test! I’m pretty sure in Seattle and Hawaii they had fancy eye testing machine thingys, but in San Francisco – eye chart on the wall and a piece of scratch paper. Love it.

After my papers got processed I went to stand in another line to get my picture taken – 15 more minutes and it’s getting close to 11:30 a.m. I got my picture taken and then needed to stand in another line to get my written test. I finally got my test around 11:40 a.m. or so and took the PAPER test. Yes, it was a paper test that I took in a sort of voter boothish booth. Again, Seattle and Hawaii have electronic machines and poor San Francisco has PAPER tests! Very strange. So I took my paper test and it was really difficult!

The nice DMV lady saw the disappointment and shame on my face as she looked over my test marking the questions I had wrong and was gentle. She then told me I could take the test again and to look over my PAPER test and retake the test. So I took my PAPER test and looked over my mistakes:

You want to make a right turn and there is a bike lane – what do you?
a. Merge into the bike lane and then make your turn
b. Stop and then make your turn.
c. Turn right crossing the bike lane.

Now some of you may think this was an easy question but I got it wrong! I won’t tell you which answer I chose. So I looked over my mistakes over and over again and the ones I got right too since I was guessing on some of those also.

Who knows what the speed limit is at a railroad crossing?! I’m from Hawaii. I know, I’ve been gone long enough so I should know this but I got that wrong too!

So I stood back in line to try again, it’s now close to noon. I get my PAPER test, go to my booth and start taking the test. The automated voice calling the numbers being served starts distracting me…now serving B067 at counter 5… now serving H101 at counter 25… now serving F063 at counter 10… now serving A045 at counter 1, on and on it goes. I’m in the booth right next to the main DMV desk so I’m getting distracted by that too hearing if people are passing or not passing their tests. I felt some relief hearing lots of other people not passing. Most of them were non-English speakers but still, I wasn’t the only flunky.

I’m done with my test. There are a handful of questions that I guessed but this test was a lot easier than the first one. I looked over my questions again and again thinking if I fail again I’ll be stuck at the DMV for at least another 30 minutes to take my third and final test. I can’t take the pressure and take my test and stand in line again to get it checked.

It’s now lunchtime and there is less staff so I have to wait about 10 minutes to get my test checked. I go through in my mind the questions I wasn’t sure of but what can I do. I could call Tim but they were really strict about the whole cell phone being off and people taking/cheating. There was even one person that got caught cheating (text messaging) and the security guard got him and carted him off. Exciting times at the DMV.

I’m up next to get my test checked. The person in front of me failed for the third time and needs to come back another day since she used up her three tries. There is some relief in knowing that if I fail again I have a third chance but if I’m that bad should I really be driving?!

I’m up and the nice DMV lady takes my test. As she’s checking it I peer over the counter to count with her how many I’m getting wrong. She goes through the first page and marks two – dear gawd! I have four more on the second side. She goes through the second page quickly and then asks for my Washington state driver’s license to punch the official hole through it. I passed! Thank goodness – I’m not an idiot after all.

The nice DMV lady sees that I failed the first time and congratulates me. She then tells me that the test is difficult and that she wouldn’t want to take the test and would rather bus it than take the test. I feel a little better take my whole punched Washington state driver’s license and make it back home on the bus and await my much earned California driver’s license that should arrive by mail in 7-10 days. Good-bye Washington. I am now one of the many hated Californians now – god help me. Now serving G101 at counter 4.